Well.

It's been quite a while since last I blogged.  [Have you noticed?]  Truth be told, I've been suffering from a long period of Internet burnout this summer.  I got to a point where I realized that I was spending most of my spare time (even at work) online, either corresponding, writing or responding to play-by-email RPG turns, watching cartoons, and, yes, blogging.  I started feeling as though I were chained to the computer, and I began to feel a tremor of dread every time I sat down at the computer.  Now, I imagine part of this may have been due to frequenting the "Befuddled Christians" forum on Orkut.com - trying to engage in apologetics is often gut-wrenching, but it's always worse when you're trying to reason with people who consider themselves Christians yet say things like, "Well, I don't accept the Gospels..." [I'm exaggerating, but only a very little].  It hardly holds a candle to the things that, say, the Church in China or the Middle East has to deal with, so I guess that says something about my perserverence, or lack thereof.

Still, I also found myself thinking back to the things I used to do before I had Internet access - read books, go for walks, etc.  So I kind of dropped off the face of the electronic Earth for a while.  Of course, I don't need to tell you that.

I had the opportunity to visit my home, family, and a handful of friends this last week when my wife and I flew out to California to celebrate my grandparents' 65th wedding anniversary.  They had decided to renew their vows, and my sister and I were scheduled to sing for the occasion.  It was a very nice ceremony - my aunt and cousin sang, as well - and we all enjoyed each others' company that Saturday and then Sunday at my parents' house in the mountains.

I had been having numerous thoughts, concerns, worries, and questions about marriage for some time previous to this event.  About a week before we left for California, I had sat down during one of these moments of questioning and asked God to teach me about marriage.  Actually, I didn't specifically ask that - frustrated with my lack of growth in this area, I just point blank asked Him to give me some answers.  What I got was a week and a half of lessons and examples, from hearing about friends and acquaintances from high school who had all been married, seperated and divorced, to, obviously, the sterling example of my grandparents standing at the altar, looking into each others' eyes with love.

I think I've had to accept that there may be no answers coming for some issues; they may remain a mystery for the rest of my life.  Yet, the illustrations I was presented with have given me a better appreciation and understanding of what it means to participate in a marriage.